Super Stang 'Stache

We were the first to break the news last month about millions growing instant mustaches visiting the Ford Mustang display at the Chicago Auto Show.  This month we have a sad and disturbing follow-up story to report.

Ralph Knir of Bohner’s Lake, Wisconsin has tried everything to get rid of his unwanted souvenir.  His kids ran screaming when they turned to him and saw the 12-inch curved caterpillar that appeared on his face when he stared too long at the new Ford Coyote motor that will debut in the 2011 Mustang. 

Knir said he’s tried straight razors, electric shavers, and even Nair, but the mustache keeps reappearing each morning when he wakes up.  “I feel like Bill Murray in ‘Groundhog Day’…but with a really ugly mustache”, Ralph lamented.  This curse has not kept him from being a Ford Mustang fan, however.

Ralph said it’s not all bad, “I swear my 2006 GT goes faster since this thing appeared on my (censored) face.  Just like when I added my 5.0, Mach1 and supercharged decals.  Some day when I actually buy all those (censored) things it’ll really haul!  I’m just afraid to buy a 2011, I might wake up lookin’ like a Wookie!”

Being covered in fur like “Cousin It” is a small price to pay for owning the vehicle that will rewrite another page in the automotive history books.  The 2011 V6 will be the first car over 300-hp to get over 30 mpg, specifically making 305-hp and officially rated at 31 mpg.  The GT’s 412-hp all-aluminum block weighs the same as last years, at about 430-lbs, and the new 6-speed transmission is just 20 lbs heavier than last year’s.  390 lb-ft of torque.  Yeah.

Will the new glassback roofs ever take off?  They’re pretty cool, and CDC’s version is supposed to be stronger and quieter than Ford’s OEM roof.  Are they talking about Ford’s metal or glass roof?  Does anyone know?  Will the Mustang ever have T-tops?  Is that even cool or what I can’t tell.  Oh man I hope I didn’t just grow a mustache.  If I did, I hope it looks like this one…


One Response

Comments are closed.