Stang Pit

Sick of winter?  I am.  I mean, c’mon.  I guess I could go skiing or do donuts in the snow, but I mean, c’mon.  Why not build a freakin Snowstang?  Do it.  Do it.  I like how they had to put the word “Mustang” so you didn’t think it was a Volvo or something.  Great effort, I would’ve gotten sick of working on that after about 15 minutes.  I get cold just looking at it.  Someone pour me a hot toddy.

Props go out to 16-year old Tom Murphy, from Manteno Illinois and his dad.  Perhaps they were trying to get out of shoveling the driveway and while Mom was sweating out front from heaving two feet of snow, these two were building cars out back.  I hope it was at least a supercharged GT500.

Rollin in a 5.sn0w

In a time when Earth is experiencing a downtrodden economy and a “green” revolution, intergalactic space pirates from nearby Centauri are earning more booty by the minute.  They’ve recently discovered Earth after China and other countries tested missiles in space, which led them to investigate our solar system.  Though they despise all Earthlings more than Michael Moore does, they admit to seeing a “new hope” with the release of the latest pony by Ford, the 2011 Mustang.

Mustang-Hungry Aliens

There has been quibbling on a stellar scale about whether the V6 or the V8 is more fun, but all Centaurians agree that Ford has a winner on their hands.  Qaxar hasn’t driven a Mustang since the 1969 Boss 429, which he stated, “…got me a lot of chicks, but was more nose-heavy than W.C. Fields.”  Never one to live in the past, Qaxar has already planned his pirate mission to obtain the first delivery of the new Mustangs.

He won’t release all of his secrets, but “it’s a mix of bait ‘n’ switch coupled with good ol’ tractor beam technology”, Qaxar explained.  He plans to sell all but one of the Stangs for twice over sticker in Centaurian dollars which, with Earth’s troubled economy, makes this quite a home-run profit for Q and his minions, considering the going conversion rate.

“It’s actually more economical to use Earth dollars as toilet-paper than to go to our local CentMart and pay top-dollar for HindClean”, Qaxar admitted.  You see, Centauris are similar anatomically speaking, but their diet leaves them with a tar-like substance on their…”hind-quarters”.  Most Centauris use HindClean, which is nearly identical to 600-grit sandpaper on Earth.

Qaxar almost feels bad about the Mustang booty, saying that he will try to leave a few for us, but it all depends on supply and demand.  He leaves us with this, “Earth-dollars, or ‘squibs’ as we like to call them, are not quite rough enough, but they’re such a good value for the bathroom!”

Some say the Ford Mustang was named after the wild horse.  Some say it was named after the P-51 fighter plane made famous in World War II.  But very few say the truth, the best kept secret in automotive history.

The Ford Mustang was actually named after a Canadian badminton team from Ontario, the Western Mustangs.  Carl Pluimbal was a creative marketing exec at Ford in the early ’60′s.  He grew up in Western Ontario, where he spent years honing his curling skills after not being accepted on the badminton team, the Mustangs. Read the rest of this entry »

Roush has previously offered 3 different stages to suit your budget and taste.  For 2010, the racing pedigree will offer a Stage 4 for the first time, featuring four freaking fast solid rocket boosters.

Using smaller versions of the boosters on the Space Shuttles, the Roush Stage 4 has 22,000,000 horsepower.  It does 0-60 in 10 seconds due to the weight, but has a top speed of 3,000 mph.  It can easily reach escape velocity to leave the atmosphere. Read the rest of this entry »

Since the 18th century, people have been comparing engine power to horse power.  Another beast from the east was initially overlooked, but experts agree that the donkey, or “ass”, can haul more cargo and make more power.

Related to the donkey is the mule.  A mule is actually half-donkey and half-horse.  A male donkey and female horse create a mule.  A female donkey and male horse create a “hinny”.  A mule is more common than a hinny, and the mule is a true workhorse. Read the rest of this entry »

Shelby is going to have to make a new motor soon.  The GT is up 97-hp from last year, but the Shelby is up just 10-hp from last year!  It may seem ridiculous, but 550-hp may not cut it for the price.

With the GT now making 412-hp, the Shelby should be 684-hp.  They’re usually about 66% more than the GT, and they better be for the price premium!  Read the rest of this entry »

Dearborn, MI - Ford announced today that 5,000 previously unreleased 1965 Mustangs will go on sale for a mere $16,058.  These are BRAND NEW spotless, shining 1965 Mustangs, actually made in 1965.  Though they are familiar 1965 Mustangs, they still look different than anything you’ve seen before.

The ridiculously low price of just over 16 large ones is what it would cost with inflation, as it debuted for just $2,320 back in 1965.  How these cars remained unknown, unseen, and untouched for 45 years is utterly unbelievable.  Read the rest of this entry »

By now everyone is aware of the recent Toyota news surrounding sudden speedy stuck gas pedals that have been reported by owners.  First let me make everyone aware that if you are piloting ANY vehicle that speeds away without your consent, throw the shifter into NEUTRAL and shut off the ignition.  The brakes should still have some power left in them and you can also use the emergency brake to come safely to a stop.

If you simply turn the ignition off without going into neutral you risk a more dangerous situation with the wheels locking up and losing control of the vehicle.  With that out of the way, let’s get back to the news… Read the rest of this entry »

Anyone in northern Illinois could tell you that the recent earthquake was not normal.  Couple that fact with the dozens of earthquakes reported worldwide and we have an extremely extraordinary earthquake epidemic evolving.

Researchers and earthquake experts everywhere entertain the idea that the cause may not necessarily be the typical tectonic plate shift blamed for previous events.  Not only are their findings fascinating, but their predictions are even scarier than watching a Rob Schneider movie.  Read the rest of this entry »

Residents of Alaska don’t usually worry about being bitten by snakes.  Brock Madu was taking his usual morning walk by Seekins Ford in Fairbanks when he felt a sharp pain in his right foot.

He fell to the ground in agony, but when he looked up he saw “the most beautiful creature to grace these eyes”, as Brock so eloquently put it.  What he saw was the mythical 2010 Shelby Super Snake.  Madu said he can’t afford the $29,495 for the 630-hp model or the $33,495 for the 725-hp version, let alone the $47,575 price tag for a sacrificial GT500.  Read the rest of this entry »